Long ago, at a time lost in the dark shadowy mists that veil the circuitous paths of history (the early seventies), there were no Thursday lunches. The graduate students then were a sad and oppressed lot, the kind that grew up to become faculty and scientists and unnatural people like that. Those were terrible times indeed, far beyond the imagination of us, today. The cruel dictators of the autocratic Institute and supremacist Observatory had forbidden graduate students from attending their sacred meal. When presented with the pitiful plight of their cold and hungry graduate students, these dastardly and raving tyrants scoffed, "Send them out into the rain", and expelled their loyal, but downtrodden, subjects. The students braved their harsh life of famine and austerity, scavenging from the teas and the scarce lunches.
But behold! As was foreseen by the great prophets, Ellen Zweibel and Mike Shull, a Messiah was born among men. The wonderful Messiah ascended to the Nine-Inch Dome and proclaimed, "So even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow... I still have a dream... that one day in the gleaming walls of the Tea Room, the students of professors and the guests of students... will then be able to sit down at the table of brotherhood... I have a dream today!" The vaulted leader was heralded and his brethren emancipated. And on the great day of their delivery, the Messiah bellowed from the Four-Inch Dome, "Blessed be the graduate students, for only they shall be allowed to partake of Thunch". But in his infinite wisdom and generosity, the wonderful liberator provided that, "We shall rise above the tyranny of the arrogant barons; we shall have a diverse, tolerant, and multicultural lunch, which shall be inclusive of a faculty member. The admitted guest shall be required to explain to the students the mystery of research." Then his divine visage emanated that every year there will be chosen a Thunch Czar, who must embody the collective appetite of the graduate student community: he or she must invite the guest and fetch the lunches to satiate the masses. And with great resolve, and import, the wonderful provider laid down his testament, "In the nascence of each year, my disciples must renew their covenant, and shine the light of truth upon the incoming students, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I will be with you always, even to the end of the age." At the close of his revelation, every graduate student arose to vow his faithful promise, that he would keep fast to the laws handed down from the great Messiah.
As the years passed, graduate students came and went, and the rooms changed in form and function, and in time, even the venerable Nine-Inch Dome was decommissioned. Still, the tradition of Thunch has been faithfully continued. Each week, the faithful ascend to the Dome Room to partake of pizza delivered from the Realm of the Angels and share in the fellowship of their fellow graduate students and the distinguished guest, so that the commandments of the Messiah may be fulfilled.
And so it is written, the wonderful mystery of Thunch.